Five Years on an Amazing Rollercoaster Ride!

Five years ago John asked me to be his girlfriend – a decision that forever changed our lives!

As you may have guessed, I said “yes”…we dated for a while…he proposed to me, I said “yes” again…and we have been married for a bit over three years.

I love John more today than I could have imagined five years ago, and every life experience we have faced together has brought us closer to each other.

Our relationship is far from perfect; by the grace of God we continue to learn to love, forgive, admit our faults and strive to grow as a result of new challenges.

We presently face the challenge of living in a city without the community we were used to. Our day to day routine is simple and we miss seeing friends on a regular basis, game nights, dinners and church. For the past few months, we have been a community of two – and at times, our frustrations have led to humbling moments in our marriage.

This morning John sent me a blog post that pretty much summarizes the story of our relationship. The post comes from the blog: The Generous Husband.

“Marriage is like this: You are so excited, you get married, and when you open the box that contains your new marriage, you find a thousand pieces and a note that says “Some assembly required”. Even worse, the instructions are not in a language you even recognize, and the pictures are so poor you are not sure they show parts in your box. Okay, go out there and live happily ever after!

If your parents have a great marriage, her parents have a great marriage, and you are in a church full of supportive folks with great marriages, you can probably figure out how to assemble the parts. For the other 99% of us, that box of marriage parts is more scary than exciting.

Unfortunately, most couples are too shy or too embarrassed to seek help, figuring they can muddle through and put together a reasonable marriage on their own. The longer they do it on their own, the less willing they are to admit they need help. They build mistakes on mistakes, creating a marriage that cannot work right, and that becomes more and more difficult to manage.

There is no shame in not having a clue, especially given the fact we live in a society that is generally clueless about marriage. If your problems are small, get help now before they become big. If the problems are already big, get help before they destroy the marriage. If things are not too bad, spending time with a couple with a good sound marriage may be all you need. If you need more help than that, PLEASE find a way. I hear repeatedly from couples who say they can’t afford counseling. Here’s the real truth – it won’t cost as much as a divorce, and it won’t mess your kids up. If your marriage is worth it, you will find a way.

One other warning – you may have to change much of what you have already done. If you had worked on an “assembly required” project and made a mistake early on, the only way to assemble it correctly would be to undo back to the mistake; marriage is much the same. Don’t cut corners, do what it takes to have a great marriage.”


Like many people, John and I made promises we didn’t understand when we got married. In some ways we are still learning what those promises meant. We have been gifted with parents that honor their marriage and for the past five years we were surrounded with a community of individuals that poured love and wisdom into our lives.

The past five years have been an amazing rollercoaster ride and it would not have been as great without those who have invested in our lives.

I pray that God will once again bless us with the community we need to face the challenges that shall come in the next five years!

John Nobile, thank you for asking me to be your girlfriend five years ago! I would say “yes” all over again in a heartbeat.