Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I am not in Class Today

So, today is the first day of Autumn quarter at the University of Washington - and I am not in class.

I cannot describe how strange this feels.

Unlike many people, I actually liked school - a lot. Sure, I got tired many times and dreamed of sleeping in - which at the time 7:00am would have been sleeping in. But now that I am no longer an undergraduate student, I miss the libraries, the random people I ran into during the day, the backpack that became a part of my body, the activities on the HUB lawn. I miss the place I am so familiar with.

UW taught me to be more independent, to walk faster, to enjoy little breaks, to use my time wisely, to expand my brain in ways I didn't know I could.

I want to see Mount Rainier behind Drumheller Fountain. I want to see the trees turn orange and yellow. I want to see the cherry blossoms.

I want to go back!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Happy Birthday to My Love

My beloved husband is turning a year older today.

Happy Birthday to John!!

Just playing around, I usually ask him if he feels like an old man yet. He ALWAYS responds by saying that he is not old and reminds me that I am not old either. I am convinced he will be saying that when we are in our 90s.

I know that in reality, we are not old (yet) but time travels so fast that I can hardly keep track of the date these days. Three years ago I got to celebrate John's birthday for the first time - we were just friends at that point - and I can't believe we are now married.

Three years ago I gave John two Alaska pictures framed and singed by me - with my maiden last name.

Isn't Alaska just gorgeous?
I am sure I would never get tired of looking at these mountains.

Today, these pictures hang in our bedroom as a reminder of the place that brought us together in first place!

**In 2006, John and I signed up to be camp counselors in Alaska through the University Presbyterian Church. We started dating about 6 months later.

Since those camp days, I have become John's greatest fan and I thank God daily for giving me such a wonderful man.

Here are a list of characteristics that makes John be the unique person that he is - and I just love him for these qualities!

  • He hugs with his body - this is no awkward side hug - this is a full embrace that demonstrates he cares
  • His organization skills are so helpful!
  • He loves God and desires to know Him more
  • He has a giggle that melts my heart
  • He is devoted to family and friends
  • He can be brutally honest
  • He is always learning something new
  • He is himself no matter what

I am thrilled to celebrate one more year of life with John, and I pray for many more!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Patience: I don't have enough

I have things to say and pictures I want to post.

But, the desktop won't let me access my account and I definitely don't have the patience to rely on my very slow, 5 years old laptop.

So...maybe I'll be able to post later this week.

Thursday, September 24, 2009


I realized today that I no longer like or want to do some things I used to like doing and generally wanted to do. What's up with that?

When I first got married (about 14 months ago) I was a Nazi when it came to cleaning. I cleaned every Friday as if it was my religion.

Well, I have not cleaned in more than two weeks and I still don't feel like doing it. However, I have to - the toilet is getting a pink ring around the water edge, the bathtub is no longer white and the wooden floors have foot prints all over.

I had to wash the dishtowels yesterday because they were ALL dirty.

What else has changed? Eating habits.

I now like corn - especially on the cob and I dream about green peppers. I used to hate green peppers and all the other peppers as well.

John and I made a yummy pizza yesterday and because he knows me so well, he set up the table and brought out the mayo and ketchup. Yes, I like mayo and ketchup on my pizza. Except, yesterday that didn't seem appealing at all - and for the first time ever, I ate the pizza as it was made.

I also feel like eating chocolate - but I NEVER liked chocolate before.

Ya. These are big changes for me.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


I am not quite sure why one dreams at night, and I certainly don't know how dreams work...but I pretty much dream every night.

Sometimes my dreams are full of action - like a movie.

One time (in a dream) I was in an Air Force plane and had to be ejected with a parachute because the plane was hijacked with terrorists and I (along with a group of high school friends) were responsible for protecting that information and bringing it to the American base.

I had a dream where I died and was able to watch my own funeral - and see who had come to my funeral.

Another time I dreamed that I was in Brazil - running for my life because Osama Bin Ladin was chasing me. I had to swim to a boat that was waiting to take me to a secret island.

Seriously, how do I come up with these dreams?

Two night ago I dreamed that I was sitting in the kitchen of a Hispanic family - who I don't know in real life - while the mother served me pinto beans on rice! I woke up hungry and wishing the dream was true.

Last night, I dreamed that I was pregnant. Ya. You read it right. Pregnant. It was so real that I could almost 'feel' pregnant when I woke up.

While I usually wake up and immediately tell John what my dream was about before I forget, John claims that he rarely dreams. How? Why not?

Are my dreams a result of my imagination? Then I must have a really good imagination and should probably start writing books.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Fear of the Lord

My church's home group went through a study on the 'Fear of the Lord.' In a two week series we were suppose to dive into two questions:

  1. What is the fear of God?
  2. Why is it important to have a healthy fear of God?
While trying to gather up my knowledge to answer these questions I realized that the bible mentions the "Fear of the Lord" again and again in different contexts.

Trying to come up with definitions for each instance was hard and I thought it was a good idea to look at the Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek dictionary to better understand this topic. Not knowing what we were getting ourselves into, John and I spent hours learning about the term "Fear of the Lord" - which is present in the old and new testament. The verb to 'fear' is used over 330 times and it means actual "fear."

Here are a couple of different definitions from the Old and New testament:

  • an emotion variously combining dread, veneration, and wonder that is inspired by authority or by the sacred or sublime
  • dread
  • reverence - the word carries with it a sense of being shattered, broken, dismayed, and in fear
  • being terrified
  • to tremble with the sense of terror
  • to bristle
  • fear of the presence of God
C. S. Lewis references the term "fear of the Lord" in many of his writings, but specifically describes it in his book The Problem of Pain and states that fear of the Lord is not a fear that one feels for a tiger, or even a ghost. Rather, the fear of the Lord is one filled with awe, in which you "feel wonder and a certain shrinking" or "a sense of inadequacy to cope with such a visitant of or prostration before it". It is a fear that comes forth out of love for the Lord.
Reading through the different definitions and commentaries, I realized that I have much to learn about the fear of the Lord. Living in a society where Jesus is often described as 'our homeboy,' it is easy to forget about his holiness, power and authority. We forget what is it like to be reverent and in awe of God.
So, why is it important to have a healthy fear of God?
Here are a couple of answers found in scriptures:
  • Psa 111:10 - The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.
  • Psa 145:19 - He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save (rescue) them.
  • Pro 10:27 - The fear of the LORD adds length to life, but the years of the wicked are cut short.
  • Luk 1:50 - And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.
  • Ecc 12:13 - Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
The verses that spoke to me the most came out of Deut. 10:12-22:
"And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the LORD's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?
To the LORD your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it. Yet the LORD set his affection on your forefathers and loved them, and he chose you, their descendants, above all the nations, as it is today. Circumcise your hearts, therefore, and do not be stiff-necked any longer. For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing. And you are to love those who are aliens, for you yourselves were aliens in Egypt. Fear the LORD your God and serve him. Hold fast to him and take your oaths in his name. He is your praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes. Your forefathers who went down into Egypt were seventy in all, and now the LORD your God has made you as numerous as the stars in the sky."
These verses help me understand that the Fear of the Lord is what brings me closer to being Christ-like. It is through obeying God, hating evil and seeking wisdom that I am able to become more intimate with God - and therefore, more like him.
I have long ways to go before I can say I fully understand what it means to Fear the Lord, but this study has brought a certain excitement to learn more about God's nature and his plan for his people.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

In the Kitchen

Since I tried my mother-in-law's fabulous dinner rolls, I have been wanting to make some really bad.

What stopped me?

The fear that they were not going to turn out to be as good as the ones I tried.

Thanks to John's encouragement, I decided to make some and see what would happen. The first time was a failure. I put the rolls in the oven and thought I had enough time to take a shower.

I was wrong.

The rolls were clearly overcooked and I got so sad I almost cried. I know this may sound dramatic, but I had built up this excitement and expectation - only to to find out that what I had made was far from the delicious, melt in your mouth rolls.

John, being the wonderful husband that he is, encouraged me to just try it again. I hesitantly agreed to give it another try - just one more time.

The results?


I ended up making 24 rolls that were rapidly consumed at our family vacation.

rolls after rising for an hour

butter and garlic glaze

overcooked rolls

try number 2 - perfect and ready to be eaten

I thought these were so good that I want to try baking different kinds of breads. We'll see what happens.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Back from the Apple Land

I got back from a family vacation yesterday - and brought with me a ridiculous amount of apples! By "ridiculous" I mean: 75 pounds of apples.

My husband, John, LOVES these apples and he would do just about anything to get his hands on one of these. According to him, these apples taste like candy - and they are the best apples he has ever had. By the way, he no longer eats apples from the grocery store. Instead, he lives the whole year waiting for September to come around so we can go get these apples.

However, this apple-picking trip taught me a simple and yet meaningful lesson:
Even the best things in life must be consumed in moderation
Although some research shows that eating an apple a day can reduce risk of Alzheimer' s, might help keep your skin from wrinkling, promotes hair growth, and may protect against cardiovascular disease and cancer development - we cannot live on apples alone.
John learned this lesson after eating three apples in one afternoon and feeling like his heart was running a marathon.
While nutritionists suggest that a person should consume an average of 40 grams of sugar a day - a person eating three large apples is consuming 69 grams of sugar on apples alone. That is the equivalent of eating 18 cubes of sugar!

Moral of the story: even the really good things (that we might want without limits) are not good or healthy if consumed in excess.
Although I find it easy to talk about eating apples in moderation - because I don't even like apples - I am finding that I still have to learn this lesson when it comes to many other areas in life. As far as I know, the only thing that should be consumed without any worry of moderation is the word of God. Everything else should have its limits.
P.S. I am thoroughly enjoying the apples' sweet perfume that continues to invade every inch and corner of the house!

Friday, September 4, 2009

A Life Worth Living

Yesterday my husband, John, and I had a great talk about learning from our mistakes and applying the lessons learned to life in its present form.

He mentioned a quote that he heard at a talk at work:

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates

I agreed with the quote's implications and thought that the idea presented here was a great example of what we were discussing.

However, while talking about this quote we got to a certain point in conversation that challenged me in a big way.

John asked:

Is an un-designed life worth examining?
Is a purposeless life worth designing?

I realized that while perhaps I should - I do not plan or design life thinking about its purpose. Many times I do what I enjoy and try to stay away from lessons/moments/situations that are uncomfortable. In search for the things that please my desires and wants I may altogether be missing the point of life.

It is so easy to forget the reason for which God gave me breath and brought me into this world. The truth is that I aught not to live to please myself, but instead to bring glory to the name of the Lord. If I am not planning life to fulfill that purpose, my life is indeed not worth being designed.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Job Search

I only have ONE thing to say about this:

It is 4:48pm and I am still wearing my pajamas. I have been sitting in front of this computer for I don't know how many hours (it feels like my whole life).

That is all I am going to say about that.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

In Need of the Fire...

"On Fire"

They tell you where you need to go
They tell you when you'll need to leave
They tell you what you need to know
They tell you who you need to be

But everything inside you knows
There's more than what you've heard
There's so much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

And you're on fire
When He's near you
You're on fire
When He speaks
You're on fire
Burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything You are
Give me one more chance to be... (near You)

Cause everything inside me looks like
Everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I'll take

When I'm on fire
When You're near me
I'm on fire
When You speak
And I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries
These mysteries...

I'm standing on the edge of me
I'm standing on the edge of everything I've never been before.
And i've been standing on the edge of me
Standing on the edge

And I'm on fire
When You're near me
I'm on fire
When You speak
(Yea) I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries... these mysteries... these mysteries
Ah you're the mystery
You're the mystery
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