Better Together

I have been thinking about how much my life has changed since I got married – almost 2 years ago.

Before getting married, I was a pretty independent person. I never really liked asking for help (something that can definitely be a weakness) so I got used to figuring things out on my own.

Two years later…parts of me have not changed much. I still don’t like to ask for help.
However, I depend on John more and more for little things and big things as well.

Here is a silly but true example:

After a weekend of fun with friends, it was time to do some cleaning around the house. I plugged the vacuum cleaner in the bedroom, on the same outlet as the heater – not paying attention that the heater was on. Five minutes later, the lights go out and the vacuum stops working. I went to the circuit breaker box to fix the circuit that had stopped working.

The task seemed simple, but I couldn’t do it.

The little knob was stuck half way between on and off…and I was afraid of forcing it…and breaking it.

So, I decided to email John at work to ask for advice. I couldn’t turn on the computer because the plugs were not working. I called him, but he didn’t answer the phone.

I plugged the vacuum in the kitchen and continued to clean in the semidarkness.

But I had an appointment and I needed to get ready soon – and I didn’t know how I was going to get ready in the dark bathroom.

I thought about using a flashlight if all things failed.

To my relief, John called me and told me to push the button harder so it would be off and then I could turn it back on – and that I would not break it. He was right. The lights came back on and everything was fine.

While this is a very minor example, it made me realize that I have learned to depend on John and that I need him.

Sometimes I need him to tell me that I am beautiful. Sometimes I just need a John hug. Sometimes I need to feel loved by him and sometimes I just need to hear his voice.

This is exciting to me.

It fills me with joy to recognize that we have become one in so many ways.

Although we would have been just fine if we had never married each other, that would not be true today. Today I need him to be my friend, my husband, my partner, my companion. And I wouldn’t want it any other way!