Forgiveness

I am almost done reading through the book Lord Teach me to Pray by Kay Arthur. Today's topic of forgiveness could have been broken up into a 12 week study and I would still need more time to digest it.

Forgiveness to me does not always come easy. To tell you the truth, I think it is easier for me to forgive others than it is for me to ask for forgiveness. There is something in me (maybe pride) that makes it very hard for me to admit that what I did or said was wrong and I need to confess and ask for forgiveness.

In other situations, I feel like what was done to me was unfair and the ofender does not deserve to be forgiven. I act as if forgiveness was a privilege that the other person has lost.

Both these mindsets (the prideful and the undeserving) are not aligned with God's teachings, and this is something that I struggle with.

Here is what I have been reading:

"Although sin was paid for in full at Calvary, sin unconfessed and unforsaken before the throne of God puts a barrier between God and His child. When Jesus said, Forgive us our debtors, He was talking about our moral debts, our sins. We owe God absolute righteousness. To sin is to be in debt!

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:19

The word translated "confess" is homologeo and means "to say the same thing." In other words, you name sin for what it is; you call it what God calls sin.
...
Forgiveness is not a matter of feeling, or emotion: rather it is an act of your will. Forgiveness is your response to God, not your fellow man. Your transgressors may not deserve it, desire it, or require it; yet you forgive because God says to forgive. Not to forgive is to disobey God and thus to sin.

To not forgive is not only to sin but it is also self- destructive. It will cannibalize your soul, eat you up from the inside out. An unwillingness to forgive leads to a root of bitterness that causes trouble and defiles many.

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.

His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'

But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
Matthew 18:21-35

This is a hard reality for many, including myself - but our willingness to forgive is directly correlated to God's ability to forgive us. To make the choice to forgive is to make the choice to be obedient to God.