A New Year and a New Normal?!?

Life has felt a little pretty crazy these last few weeks and I am looking forward to a new year and hopefully a new sense of normalcy.

Almost a month ago, John and I (with the help of a lot of people) packed our things and moved to a new home. Our new home needed some TLC and we will forever be thankful to our family and friends who helped us clean, paint walls, paint doors, fix stuff, etc before we moved. That was a lot of work!

Despite all the help, moving and settling down has still been overwhelming - especially with an active toddler around.

Sariah put her never ending energy to use when we moved and constantly removed things from boxes and spread them everywhere possible.  Whenever I managed to put the belongings from a box in its correct place, I turned around to find everything back on the ground again as Sariah did her own rearranging.

I decided unpacking was only going to happen during nap time and after bed time...but bed time became an issue.

The nights were long as we helped Sariah get used to her new room which she refused to sleep in. Sariah has slept in her own room since she turned two months old, but the new bedroom with new lights and new smells was too different for her. John and I brought her to bed with us and she slept and snored while we tried to keep ourselves from falling off the bed because somehow out little girl takes up a huge amount of bed space when sleeping.

I wished I could go on a 'sleep vacation'...and then I slept even less.

When we felt a little bit more settled, John started having headaches that would not go away despite all our efforts and after 5 days of unbearable pain, we ended up in the ER hoping a CAT Scan would give us hopeful results.

I prayed and I asked God for strength, love, patience and wisdom...He had never failed me before and I trusted Him.

We were thankful to find out that John had an acute sinus infection that needed a little help from antibiotics and while we celebrated his healing and relief of pain, Sariah started teething yet again and spent most of her days crying, biting her fingers and rubbing her snotty face all over me.

I stopped attempting to be productive and spent my days and nights holding and comforting my baby girl...I am still not getting anything done.

Life has been crazy but the Lord has sustained me. He has held everything together when I thought life was going to collapse like a mountain-side landslide. He has helped me get up each morning and be what I need to be during each day.

Life has been crazy and hard but I am hoping for a new sense of normalcy in the new year.

Finding Joy in the Mess

My brain works better when things are organized, clean, filed ... I am a better person when everything is in its place and my "TO DO" list has a bunch of things crossed off.

Before I had a baby, my life was neat. I had time to make things pretty and I was always on time.

Before I had a baby, I imagined being able to continue living the same life once the baby arrived. I thought that if I was organized enough, I would still be able to clean, cook, do the laundry (including loads of cloth diapers), work on photography, read my Bible, hang out with friends, go grocery shopping, paint my nails, exercise, spend quality time with my husband, work on crafts, etc.

I didn't know that my world was about to change in the most terrifying and wonderful way.

For a while, I allowed frustration to set in when I couldn't get everything done that I planned to do. My TO DO list kept growing and growing and I kept praying that God would multiply the hours like he multiplied the fish and bread in the Bible.

God didn't multiply the hours, but he provided a community through MOPS that has helped me prioritize what is most important to me. I am learning that life is a beautiful mess and it is time to embrace it!

I looked around my house yesterday and was discouraged by how messy everything looked: clean dishes waiting to be put away, dirty dishes waiting to be cleaned, a load of dirty cloth diapers waiting to be washed, clean clothes waiting to be folded, emails waiting for a response...

I wanted to pack a bag and go out, ignoring all that had to be done, but it was cold and cloudy outside and I didn't have anywhere to go. I had a choice to make: Be grumpy about my current stage of life or embrace it all with a good attitude.

I turned on some worship music (worshiping God always does good to my soul), danced with Sariah while we wore out pajamas and slowly started working on the day's TO DO list. By the end of the day, I had accomplished quite a bit - not everything - and dinner was yummy!

Night time arrived and I was tired, Sariah was tired and John was not going to be home until late, so I decided it was time to have some fun relaxation with my baby girl! I got her in the bathtub and decided to join her. She was so excited to be with me she never even played with her bath toys. We just splashed and practiced whistling and sang songs and gave hugs and kisses. We had a wonderful time!

Our time together is precious and I don't want my life's mess to get in the way of finding joy in this stage of life. Some days are better than others, but I am working on leaning on God and doing the good works that He prepared in advance for me to do!

"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

Happy Despite the Mess

My kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes from last night and this morning. The dishwasher is full of clean dishes that need to be put away. The laundry pile is resembling a small version of Mt. Rainier. The bed is a mess. The floors need to be vacuumed. The counter-top is covered with bread crumbs.

That is the current state of my home and I am OK with it.

I love a clean home (I can think better when my home is clean and organized), but I am learning that sometimes it is more important to give my full attention to my husband, daughter, family and friends. I am learning to relax and enjoy the present without constantly thinking about my TO DO list.

Today the house work is going to wait because Sariah and I have more important things to do with our time!

Outings with a Baby

For the first 4 weeks of Sariah's life, I was terrified of going anywhere with her on my own. I was afraid she was going to get hungry while we were out and I felt like I could not nurse in public because I didn't know how to nurse using a cover...and I could not nurse without the help of a boppy and a second pillow. I was afraid of forgetting something important like diapers/wipes. I was afraid she was going to start crying and I wouldn't know what to do to calm her down. Needless to say, we spent a LOT of time at home. It helped that it was cold and rainy outside, but I am an extrovert and my 'people bucket' was completely empty.

I missed having a reason to get dressed in the morning. I missed seeing people. I missed having conversations with adults.

This past week, I made myself get out of the house with her even though my fears had not diminished. My first outing was to the grocery store (we were out of food after 4 weeks of no grocery store trips). I walked in the grocery store carrying Sariah in her car seat, a diaper bag and a few reusable shopping bags. I got everything on my lists as fast as I could and headed back to the car. Sariah was napping, so I decided to head over to a park and look for the best places for an upcoming Family Photoshoot. I put Sariah in the Moby Wrap and walked around, completely enjoying the Autumn colors and the fresh air. I still wished I had a walking buddy with me - but it felt good to be outside.

So far, Sariah and I have been to a potluck, a coffee shop and we even ventured out to a pumpkin patch with some friends from our birth class.

While going out with my little girl alone still makes me nervous, I am starting to feel more comfortable being with her and slowly but surely life is becoming a bit more normal!

Magic Wand

I have been feeling the irresistible desire to clean and organize absolutely everything. Yesterday I organized the tea basket, container cabinet and the recipe books. I created room in the kitchen for future bottles and sippy cups.

John broke down a twin bed that will have to go to make room for a changing table and we moved out a bookshelf. The future nursery is currently a room full of piles and even with the irresistible desire to clean and organize, I am starting to wish I had a magic wand.

I want a magic wand that will go through books, reorganize the closet, set up a changing table, paint a crib, do the laundry, break down a pile of cardboard boxes…the list goes on and on.

With less than 4 months to go until we meet our little girl, I am finding myself anxious to get the house ready. I can’t wait to see her crib and changing table set up, her clothes and diapers organized, and above all, I can’t wait to see her sleeping in her room!

I had a dream two nights ago that I went into labor super early and we didn’t have anything ready for the baby. We didn’t own a car seat, diapers or clothes…and I am sure that dream is the reason I now feel like we have to get ready RIGHT NOW! And a magic wand would help.

In case I end up not finding this magical wand, I have been creating “To Do” lists that will hopefully keep me on track.

Two + One = Us

John and I are beyond excited to announce that we are having a baby!!!

Although reality has not set in yet, we are so looking forward to meeting our first child sometime around September 19th! Please join us in our excitement and prayers for a healthy pregnancy and baby.

It has been a While...

I feel like I have neglected my blog and while I have every good intention to write more often, for some reason the days come and go and I never get to it. So, since it has been a while, I thought I should just make a list of a few things that have been going on in our lives:
 

·        Our home has been filled with visitors and that makes me so happy! We have had fun times with family and friends who drove north to be with us. Those of you who have set aside time to be with us: Thank you! You have made us feel very loved.

·         John and I visited Vancouver BC (one of my all-time favorite cities) a few weeks ago. I will post some photos soon!!!

·        We have been trying to get cool photos of eagles during this mating season, but I think we may have to wait until next year because we drove out looking for them and it looks like they have moved on from our area.

·        I dream of going to a warm place (aka Hawaii) every single day. I miss the sun and its warmth.

·        I wish we had a Chipotle in our town…and unfortunately, I have not been able to convince John to drive 65+ miles (each way) to get me a steak burrito bowl with black beans, grilled veggies, corn, sour cream, cheese and lettuce.

·        While exercising is not one of my favorite things in the world, I have been walking a lot these days – which makes me feel super healthy, but I also feel exhausted and often have to convince myself that exercising will pay off in the long run.

·        John makes the best pancakes in the world! Yesterday he made us strawberry, chocolate chip pancakes that melted in my mouth. Yum! I want some more right now.

·        For lent, we have decided to read the bible together every day.  While this is something we often try to do, we are really good at getting busy and not making it a priority to spend time in the Word daily.

·        I have been somewhat obsessed with cheese lately and I am pretty sure I could eat anything with a slice or two of Monterey Jack cheese.

·        John and I have been praying about many decisions we will be making this year. It turns out that 2012 is bringing some BIG changes our way and we are excited about what is to come while desperately seeking God’s direction and guidance. (We thought 2011 was a year of changes…but we had no idea that was just the beginning!). I promise to share more about these changes with you all soon!

So Thankful!

I wrote here that I was going to share a little bit about how the Lord has been our provider this past year.  Well, the more I think about it, the more thankful I become. Are you ready to be thankful with me?

·         I am thankful for another year of life: 25 happened to come and go really fast…26, here I come in a few weeks!

·         I am thankful for John’s new job which he loves and has lots of opportunities to grow.

·         I am thankful for the friends who housed John for a few months before we moved to a new city.

·         I am thankful for a patient husband who loves me despite my many breakdowns this past year.

·         I am thankful for three years of marriage: this was a hard year full of changes and challenges yet it was wonderful to stand with the one I love in the hard moments.

·         I am thankful for the photography opportunities that have just landed on my lap (or in my inbox).

·         I am thankful for the opportunities to see dear friends get married.

·         I am thankful for friends who were willing to help us pack all our belongings and magically make it all fit in a UHaul.

·         I am thankful for the friends who helped us unpack the UHaul.

·         I am thankful for beautiful waterfalls and many amazing hiking trails in the Pacific Northwest.

·         I am thankful for the opportunity to photograph my first wedding with my lovely husband. We are a great team!

·         I am thankful for the time John and I have had to read together.

·         I am thankful for Gluten-Free recipes.

·         I am thankful for friends who have reached out to us during our lonely days in a new city.

·         I am thankful for skype and the way I can chat with friends who are far away geographically but very close to my heart!

·         I am thankful for the way God has provided financially so that John and I could pay off all our debt. Praise God for a debt free time of life!

·         I am thankful for a husband that spent hours after work helping me create a new photography website.

·         I am thankful for my new photography website. Go check it out and feel free to leave some love: daniellynobile.com

·         I am thankful for family and wish we lived closer to all our relatives.

·         I am thankful for sermons that speak to my heart!

Above all,  I am thankful for a loving and compassionate God who calls me his own! He continues to shower me with gifts and love when I do not deserve it and I will forever be thankful for His faithfulness.

Click here to see my thanksgiving list from last year!

A New Adventure

Friends,

I am working on a new photography website! I have been spending ridiculous number of hours in front of my computer creating galleries, posts, tabs...

I fee like I am in Disneyland :)

I can't wait to show it to you all soon. Stay tuned!

Technology, Family and Friends

It turns out that living in a new city far from family and friends can lead to a bit of loneliness. I am not talking about the downcast kind of loneliness that makes the heart ache. I am talking about the feeling you get when you wish you could easily go spend time with the people you love- but they happen to be far away from you. I am talking about the longing for community; the desire to be with those who know you.

In these lonely days, I am thankful for family and friends who have intentionally kept in touch. I am thankful for the internet, the phone and skype!

I love that I can chat with a friend in California and another in New York. I love that I can call my mom whenever. I love that Abbie and Joel ‘hang’ out with us on Tuesday nights (via skype)!

I am Trying to Ignore the Mess

Yesterday, John and I brought home about 30 boxes, packing paper and tape. We have created box labels, wrapped candle holders, packed books and looked into renting an UHall truck for the big move. I still can’t believe we are moving. I didn’t think denial would be so stubborn, but some days I seriously think that this is all a dream. But then I remember that we have signed a lease to an apartment up North, we are looking for wonderful renters and our current home is completely upside down.

Folks, my home is such a mess! Everything is out of order and I keep wanting to put things back in their correct places instead of packing them into boxes. Seeing everything on the floors, counter tops, and couches makes me feel like my brain is disorganized.

But in my heart, I am thankful for God’s faithfulness and I trust that this move in part of His great plan for us!

Living in the Present

I am not very good at dealing with changes.


While I would like to describe myself as a spontaneous person, I love having a routine that I can rely on. I am a planner and I like to know what the future holds ahead of time so I can prepare. For example: I like to know which days of the week are going to be busy so I can cook multiple meals ahead of time to make the busier nights more relaxing. I organize everything on a calendar which helps me remember when and what I need to do.


My only problem is that life never goes as planned. As a result, I often get overwhelmed while trying to figure out what to do next. 


Needless to say, I am having a hard time with the many changes that are coming up in the near future. 


In a couple of months, John and I will be moving to a new city, which means that I will have to adapt to a new routine, home, church…


I keep thinking about these changes, trying to figure out how I can start planning so we have a smooth transition when the time comes.  The problem is that I don’t know how to plan a new life. I keep thinking and thinking about it – and come up with no plan at all.


I have realized that instead of living in the present, I am surviving each day while looking at the future. This makes it very hard to focus and be productive.


I know that each day of life is a gift and that God has prepared work for me to do and right now I feel like I am not honoring Him with my time.


Finding a balance is so hard…and tiring! I need to turn my brain off for a bit.

Oh, Monday

Mondays are always hard days for me.

It all starts when I say goodbye to John in the morning. We each get into a car and drive away in opposite direction.

Getting back into the routine of work takes time and I find myself wishing I had enough time to do everything I want to do.

Surprisingly, today went by faster than I realized. I left work and drove away, thinking of what I wanted to accomplish tonight. I got home and started the laundry, worked out, showered, ate dinner, edited some photos and talked to a dear friend.

People, I got a lot done tonight!

Oh, and I started exercising again!! It feels so good to be physically active – minus the soreness…

Today, I also spent a lot of time thinking about the future – and I tend to worry when I start thinking about the future. It is time to lay my worries at the foot of the cross, knowing that the Lord has perfect plans for me!

"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Hello to You!

Dear Readers,

It has been a while. How are you?

If you live anywhere in the United States with the exception of Seattle, you are probably snowed in…doing everything possible to stay warm.

Instead of waking up to snow, I woke up to clear skies and I saw the sun rise as I drove to work. The horizon looked like it was on fire - streaks of pink, orange and red surrounded mountain peaks covered in snow. The view was truly breathtaking.

Unfortunately, the rest of my day was spent in front of a computer in an office. The little portable heater kept me warm all day long and at some point, I forgot that it is still winter in the Northwest. But I was brought back into reality as I walked to my car at the end of the day. The beautiful sunshine was gone and I wished I was wearing socks. Just so you know, I was wearing really cute red flats!

My drive home was uneventful:

There was traffic – but it wasn’t horrible.

I listened to really loud music.

I talked to God like I normally talk to a person who might be sitting on the passenger seat right next to me. I asked Him to help me prioritize the things in life that really matter.

You see, I have been pretty bad about prioritizing what should be priorities. I have let the laundry, dishes, email, errands, grocery shopping…become my number one priority. I have put God and my marriage aside in order to take care of countless TO DO lists.

I mentioned in my previous post that I often wish I could add one, two or three hours to the day. However, I cannot live wishing and hoping. In reality, I cannot add a second to time and 24 hours is all I have. So, I am working on making some changes. I don’t really know how my plans are going to play out, but I want to make a commitment to let go of the things that don’t matter and devote myself to the things that do.

I want to start a devotional and remain faithful to it. I want to come home and enjoy the time I have with John. I want to go to bed before midnight and I want to get up feeling refreshed.

I want to have enough energy to actually enjoy a date night and I want every night to be date night! (Ok. I know that is not really possible, but it sure would be fun).

So, what needs to change in order for all these wishes to come to existence?

I am not exactly sure. I need to share my responsibilities with John and not try to do everything on my own. I need to trust that the world will not fall apart if I don’t wash the bathtub at least every other week. I need to be disciplined with ‘free’ time. I will have to sacrifice some things that I really enjoy – because of other things that I truly love.

As most of you have already noticed, I haven’t been writing as much as I used to. There is a part of me that becomes sad every time I look at my blog’s archive for the month of January. I managed to write five posts last month. Five posts that hardly describe the state of my current life. I wish I could say I will be writing more often from now on. But I know I can’t. It is not because I don’t have anything to say (I always have something to say) – it is because it is time for me to step away from the computer and step into the arms of my husband.
I miss him!

John recently accepted a job offer at a small software company. He has been gone for training and I can hardly wait to see him in a few days.

I miss his touch, his voice, his silliness, his hugs.

Like I said, I miss him.

And I look forward to our time together this weekend!


P.S. Although I will not be posting often, I still plan on posting. This blog has become a sort of journal for me and I enjoy having some down time to focus on what is going on in life. So, don’t quit reading :)

Here Come Changes

I have been busy with life - which means I have not blogged much lately. I have missed it dearly. To tell you the truth, I have even missed the computer itself! Isn't that strange?

Well, maybe that is not strange for some of you, but I was never a computer person and I never liked spending hours in front of one. Whenever I had to spend ridiculous hours writing papers I ALWAYS wanted to kill the computer and I ALWAYS walked away with a headache.

Now I miss it when I don't use it for a couple of days.

What caused this change?

Photography.

Actually, photography has caused a lot of changes in my life. I started dedicating more time to photography about a year ago because I had a lot of time in my hands. I did not like where my life was heading and I was eager to learn and to be challenged. I had always wanted to learn more about photography, but was always too busy to make it happen. So, in this case the lack of a job was quite a blessing!

I borrowed photography books, I read photographers' blogs, I looked for online tutorials, I started taking pictures of trees and still objects, I started editing pictures with free programs like Picasa, I got enough guts to ask friends if I could take their photographs, I started editing with Adobe Photoshop Lighroom, I went on shoots with Hailey Rahm...

...I created a list of goals and slowly started crossing them off.

In the last couple of weeks I got to cross multiple goals from the list! Are you ready for this?

Ladies and gentleman, I am now the owner of a DSLR camera and I am SO excited I smile every time I see the camera. Now I need some lenses...

There is more. I am also the owner of daniellynobile.com. Oh, and I ordered business cards!

I have long ways to go before I become an experienced professional photographer. I often feel like I am not good enough and that can be pretty discouraging. I am for sure my own worse critic. However, many people have told me that they really like my photographs and instead of being a chicken - I want to push myself and become better, believing that I have a talent. I want to learn more and I want to take on the challenges knowing that failures will lead to success if I choose to persist.

I got the chance to listen to Jasmine Star speak at WPPI last week and she said something I will never forget...at least I hope to never forget it:

It is better to fail doing something you are passionate about than to succeed doing something you hate.

Well, I am passionate about photography and I don't want fears to get in the way of my opportunities to grow. So, I am choosing to move forward!

P.S. If you or someone you know are in need of having photographs taken - contact me!

New Look

I felt inspired to change the blog a little bit...so here it is!

If you don't like the new look, don't worry. It will probably change again by the end of the year.

Hungry All the Time

John and I have been working on our eating habits.

It is not that we eat too much fast food or anything like that. In fact, we rarely eat out. I cook all our meals and John is a great helper in the kitchen. Cooking together is something we do to reconnect after a day away from each other.

However, since we have not been disciplined about exercising, we decided to start eating smaller portions. I am also making lighter meals so we cut back on carbohydrates.

As a result, I am hungry all the time.

Yesterday we had a bowl of delicious butternut squash soup. Two hours later I felt just as hungry as I was before eating the soup.

We headed out to Home Group (a church bible study) and ate some yummy cold pasta - a treat from one of the Home Group's members. The problem was that one little bowl of pasta didn't seem enough. While John went back for seconds, I tried to resist the temptation and stop myself. But in reality, I didn't want to stop myself and seeing John eat the delicious pasta made me frustrated because I wanted some too, but I didn't want to break the plan.

This situation lead to a good conversation on our way home. I was still hungry and annoyed that I was hungry. John was hungry too - but at least he had enjoyed more pasta than me. In the middle of this frustration I shared with him that I need support in order to stick to the plan. I can't count on myself to be self controlled all the time - at least not in these beginning stages of change. We agreed that we would both work harder to encourage each other and lead by example. I am so glad we can work on this together!

We got home, worked a little bit and got ready to go to sleep. As we laid in bed we both commented that we were hungry. Eventually we fell asleep.

I woke up this morning and the firs thing I heard was my stomach. Seriously!

This goal of eating less is going to be interesting...but at least it is a challenge we get to face as a team.

Better Together

I have been thinking about how much my life has changed since I got married – almost 2 years ago.

Before getting married, I was a pretty independent person. I never really liked asking for help (something that can definitely be a weakness) so I got used to figuring things out on my own.

Two years later…parts of me have not changed much. I still don’t like to ask for help.
However, I depend on John more and more for little things and big things as well.

Here is a silly but true example:

After a weekend of fun with friends, it was time to do some cleaning around the house. I plugged the vacuum cleaner in the bedroom, on the same outlet as the heater – not paying attention that the heater was on. Five minutes later, the lights go out and the vacuum stops working. I went to the circuit breaker box to fix the circuit that had stopped working.

The task seemed simple, but I couldn’t do it.

The little knob was stuck half way between on and off…and I was afraid of forcing it…and breaking it.

So, I decided to email John at work to ask for advice. I couldn’t turn on the computer because the plugs were not working. I called him, but he didn’t answer the phone.

I plugged the vacuum in the kitchen and continued to clean in the semidarkness.

But I had an appointment and I needed to get ready soon – and I didn’t know how I was going to get ready in the dark bathroom.

I thought about using a flashlight if all things failed.

To my relief, John called me and told me to push the button harder so it would be off and then I could turn it back on – and that I would not break it. He was right. The lights came back on and everything was fine.

While this is a very minor example, it made me realize that I have learned to depend on John and that I need him.

Sometimes I need him to tell me that I am beautiful. Sometimes I just need a John hug. Sometimes I need to feel loved by him and sometimes I just need to hear his voice.

This is exciting to me.

It fills me with joy to recognize that we have become one in so many ways.

Although we would have been just fine if we had never married each other, that would not be true today. Today I need him to be my friend, my husband, my partner, my companion. And I wouldn’t want it any other way!

A New Look

I keep finding new templates that I like. I know that I should probably stick to one look, but this is too exciting!

Imagine if you could get a different haircut everyday?
Imagine if you could change the bed sheets according to your mood?

In real life I cannot get a new haircut everyday or get new sheets whenever I want, but I can get a new blog template every once in a while!!

Changes

I realized today that I no longer like or want to do some things I used to like doing and generally wanted to do. What's up with that?

When I first got married (about 14 months ago) I was a Nazi when it came to cleaning. I cleaned every Friday as if it was my religion.

Well, I have not cleaned in more than two weeks and I still don't feel like doing it. However, I have to - the toilet is getting a pink ring around the water edge, the bathtub is no longer white and the wooden floors have foot prints all over.

I had to wash the dishtowels yesterday because they were ALL dirty.

What else has changed? Eating habits.

I now like corn - especially on the cob and I dream about green peppers. I used to hate green peppers and all the other peppers as well.

John and I made a yummy pizza yesterday and because he knows me so well, he set up the table and brought out the mayo and ketchup. Yes, I like mayo and ketchup on my pizza. Except, yesterday that didn't seem appealing at all - and for the first time ever, I ate the pizza as it was made.

I also feel like eating chocolate - but I NEVER liked chocolate before.

Ya. These are big changes for me.