Being Her Mother

I remember feeling nervous about motherhood when I first found out a little person was growing inside of me. I was afraid of messing this little life up in a million different ways. That little person is now a toddler who likes to imitate me - which is adorable and terrifying. It is cute that she tries to walk around the house wearing my heals, it is cute that she 'takes photos' with my phone, it is cute that she tries to put on my pearl necklace. It is not so cute that she also imitates my not-so-great behavior as well.

Having Sariah around is like having a 24-7 shadow that is helping me change in really hard, but good ways. I am working on remaining calm when her tiny self is throwing a fit about something insignificant for the 5th time today because she needs to learn that there are other ways to deal with frustrating situations. I am working on understanding and respecting John because she needs to see what it is like to love and be loved. I am working on eating healthier because she needs to discover that there is more to life than eating bread. I am putting my phone away when I spend time with her because she needs to feel that I truly want to be with her.

Being a mother is hard and at times I feel so intimidated and inadequate.

But I am changing for the better and I am thankful that being Sariah's mother has given me more than enough motivation to change in really hard and good ways.

It Happened to Me

A friend of mine just recently wrote about a few things she learned while cleaning up her son's vomit and while reading her blog post I thought that I was lucky because Sariah had never vomited. Sure, she spit-up after nursing for months, but the clean up was minimal and normally only required a change of onesie or bib.

But today, it happened to me. I mean, it happened to Sariah and so it happened to me as well.

That is right. This post is about one of those not-so-pretty parts of parenthood...

After a few dark and rainy days, I woke up excited that the sun was out and we could finally go on a long walk. I got ready, we had breakfast and I had just changed her diaper, put on her jacket and shoe when she started coughing and I knew more was to come. Sariah vomited all over herself, all over me, all over the carpet and as I rubbed her back and told her she would be okay, I kept thinking: What am I going to do?

I hate vomit.

I have not vomited since I was a small child.

The sight of vomit makes me gag. Really, the thought of vomit makes me gag.

I didn't know what to do, so I prayed aloud.

I took off all my clothes and all her clothes and pilled everything on top of the dirty carpet and proceeded to take care of my little girl.

I am often amazed at the ways parenthood brings me to the feet of Jesus because I cannot do it on my own. It took prayer for me to get over my "I hate vomit" moment and I am so glad that I can pray about big things and things that may even sound silly, like vomit.

Vomit happened all over me today, and as a result I happened to find myself at Jesus' feet asking for the kind of strength I cannot come up with on my own. I praise Jesus that I was somehow able to take care of Sariah and clean everything up without crying or dying.

Mommy and Baby Time

Have I mentioned that I love being a mother?

Well, I really do!

Spending time with this little one is such a gift!

John took these photos - which I love - shortly after we woke up and neither one of us had brushed our hair yet. I hope these candid photos will help me remember the little moments of everyday life that are so precious to me.

Reasons Why My 14 Month Old is Throwing a Fit

• I took the glass lid away from her
• The magnets are all under the fridge because she put them there
• I turned off the water when giving her a bath
• I didn't let her play with the toilet water
• She is tired in her crib, but doesn't want to go to sleep
• I put her sweater on so we could go play outside
• The book does not have more pages
• Her toy ran out of batteries
• I told her she could not play with garbage
• The tissue box is out of tissues
• I didn't let her get inside of the dishwasher
• Daddy closed the fridge and didn't let her hang out in there
• The rock is too heavy for her to carry

This list could go on and on...