Finding Joy in the Mess

My brain works better when things are organized, clean, filed ... I am a better person when everything is in its place and my "TO DO" list has a bunch of things crossed off.

Before I had a baby, my life was neat. I had time to make things pretty and I was always on time.

Before I had a baby, I imagined being able to continue living the same life once the baby arrived. I thought that if I was organized enough, I would still be able to clean, cook, do the laundry (including loads of cloth diapers), work on photography, read my Bible, hang out with friends, go grocery shopping, paint my nails, exercise, spend quality time with my husband, work on crafts, etc.

I didn't know that my world was about to change in the most terrifying and wonderful way.

For a while, I allowed frustration to set in when I couldn't get everything done that I planned to do. My TO DO list kept growing and growing and I kept praying that God would multiply the hours like he multiplied the fish and bread in the Bible.

God didn't multiply the hours, but he provided a community through MOPS that has helped me prioritize what is most important to me. I am learning that life is a beautiful mess and it is time to embrace it!

I looked around my house yesterday and was discouraged by how messy everything looked: clean dishes waiting to be put away, dirty dishes waiting to be cleaned, a load of dirty cloth diapers waiting to be washed, clean clothes waiting to be folded, emails waiting for a response...

I wanted to pack a bag and go out, ignoring all that had to be done, but it was cold and cloudy outside and I didn't have anywhere to go. I had a choice to make: Be grumpy about my current stage of life or embrace it all with a good attitude.

I turned on some worship music (worshiping God always does good to my soul), danced with Sariah while we wore out pajamas and slowly started working on the day's TO DO list. By the end of the day, I had accomplished quite a bit - not everything - and dinner was yummy!

Night time arrived and I was tired, Sariah was tired and John was not going to be home until late, so I decided it was time to have some fun relaxation with my baby girl! I got her in the bathtub and decided to join her. She was so excited to be with me she never even played with her bath toys. We just splashed and practiced whistling and sang songs and gave hugs and kisses. We had a wonderful time!

Our time together is precious and I don't want my life's mess to get in the way of finding joy in this stage of life. Some days are better than others, but I am working on leaning on God and doing the good works that He prepared in advance for me to do!

"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10