Raw Emotion

My last post was far from what one might call romantic…and because today is Valentine’s Day, I thought I should brighten up the mood a little bit.

What I wrote in my last post was exactly what I felt in my heart last week – and I am not used to verbalizing what is in my heart. I am definitely not used to sharing those raw feelings in my blog, but I did it because that was reality in that moment. I shared a very private and vulnerable part of me because I think sometimes it is easy to write about the easy (pretty) parts of life while leaving out the not so romantic parts. And believe me, no one’s life is pretty and romantic all the time – after all, we are all human beings.

Last week was a hard week for me and I felt alone. I missed John.

I believe that the loneliness I felt was not only a result of being far away from John, but also the result of not being close to God.

I forgot to lean on God and all of the sudden I realized that I was relying on no one but myself to get me through the week.

Since that last post, John and I have had a wonderful talk about how I felt alone and bitter. I do not blame him for being away. We both knew this time apart was coming and John has done nothing to hurt me or make me feel ‘not taken care of.’ I realize that this time apart is also very hard for John – and I am very thankful he can handle it better than me (otherwise we would be a complete mess!)

I am working on relying more on God and letting Him fill my heart with joy during this hard time in life.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us,

that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

I John 3:1

P.S. John and I had a great weekend together and I am so glad I get to have him as my valentine every day of my life. I am blessed!