A Hug From Jesus

Have you ever felt the need to be hugged and loved? I think pretty much every human being has experienced that need. I have that need multiple times a week and there is nothing better than to feel someone’s touch and to hear their voice proclaim that you are loved.

That is what I long for at this exact moment – and I am finding it very unfortunate that I am also alone.  There is no one here to hug me and tell me that I am loved. Although I KNOW that I am loved by many. But being alone right now feels very… lonely.

There are a lot of things going on in life that are crowding my brain. From experience, I can tell you that it is very hard to explain your feelings in a logical and clear manner when you have a crowded brain. However, trying to explain your feelings in a logical and clear manner when you have a crowded brain while talking on the phone - is just a recipe for disaster. Yup, that just happened to me.

I drove home today feeling somewhat bitter about being alone. I miss living life with another person. I miss being taken care of. I miss being part of a team and I feel like I am my only teammate at the moment – and I am not doing a very good job at being a teammate.

I drove home wanting a hug!

I tried to explain all these things (plus more) to John over the phone and instead of feeling loved, I said good night while feeling even more frustrated. Frustrated that I had to repeat everything I said because his only response was “what?” (Probably because I was not being clear). Frustrated that I have to tell him what I have been up to – because he isn’t living life with me. Frustrated that he couldn’t give me a hug!

As I sat on my bedroom floor (my phone was charging and I couldn’t unplug it from the wall while talking to John) quiet with the phone in my hand, I realized that at that very moment I had no one but Jesus – and I really wanted Him to give me a hug and tell me that He is here – tell me that I am not alone.

I was reminded of the song: None but Jesus

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore

I sang this song as the tears ran down my cheeks. I sang it with my heart and soul because I realized that in a way I have relied on John to be my source of love – but John is no Jesus and only Jesus can be the lover of my soul. Only Jesus promises never to leave; only Jesus can take away the loneliness and quiet the storm in me. I am very thankful that He is here with me!