Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Being Her Mother

I remember feeling nervous about motherhood when I first found out a little person was growing inside of me. I was afraid of messing this little life up in a million different ways. That little person is now a toddler who likes to imitate me - which is adorable and terrifying. It is cute that she tries to walk around the house wearing my heals, it is cute that she 'takes photos' with my phone, it is cute that she tries to put on my pearl necklace. It is not so cute that she also imitates my not-so-great behavior as well.

Having Sariah around is like having a 24-7 shadow that is helping me change in really hard, but good ways. I am working on remaining calm when her tiny self is throwing a fit about something insignificant for the 5th time today because she needs to learn that there are other ways to deal with frustrating situations. I am working on understanding and respecting John because she needs to see what it is like to love and be loved. I am working on eating healthier because she needs to discover that there is more to life than eating bread. I am putting my phone away when I spend time with her because she needs to feel that I truly want to be with her.

Being a mother is hard and at times I feel so intimidated and inadequate.

But I am changing for the better and I am thankful that being Sariah's mother has given me more than enough motivation to change in really hard and good ways.

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