She's Worth It

I have an almost 16 month old who does not stand still for more than two seconds. My little girl has an adventurous spirit and enough energy to climb Mt. Everest. She explores all day long and she likes it when I explore with her.

So, what do I do all day long?

I spend most of my day exploring this world with her.

We go on walks: pick up sticks, leaves and rocks, we say 'hi' to all the kitties and doggies we see, we color, we empty the dishwasher together, we read books (she flips through the pages before I can finish reading one sentence), we dance and we sing, we build towers with Legos and wooden blocks, we fold laundry, we eat yummy things, we play chase, we practice going down the stairs, etc. We do a lot together.

Whenever I leave Sariah with a family member or friend I always come back to hear the same question: "How do you get anything done? She never stops moving!"

The answer to that questions is always: "Well, I don't get much done during the day."

With Sariah's help, I can get a few loads of laundry done, I can load and unload the dishwasher and I can even vacuum at times...but in general, I am not super productive when she is awake and I am okay with that!

You see, I was used to being SUPER productive before I had a baby. I loved writing a To Do list for the week and crossing everything off as I got it all done. I had time to do what I wanted (even though I wished I had more time to do this and that). When Sariah was born, a part of me felt like my life was over. I was frustrated and ashamed to feel that way; after all, aren't mothers supposed to enjoy spending time with their newborns?!?!

I loved being with her from the minute she was born, but I couldn't get anything done that made me feel stressed and useless.

I wanted her to be happy sitting in her bouncy chair so I could clean, cook dinner, finish a photography session, write a few cards, read a few pages, etc. But all she wanted was for me to hold her...and I couldn't even reply to an email when I was holding her.

It didn't take long for me to realize that my desire to be productive was leading me to being frustrated with my baby all day and night long. It was in the middle of a very frustrating moment when I decided that I din't want to be just a mother, I want to be a great mother; a mother who enjoys being with her child. A mother who is able to put the To Do list aside in order to soak up these little years. So I stopped trying to be productive and started enjoying the time I have with my daughter.

I try to get as much as I can during nap time and after bed time, but my home is not as neat and clean as it used to be, the emails sit in my inbox longer than I like, our meals are simpler, I wear make-up for special occasions...but she's worth it! My almost 16 month old will not always want to explore this world with me so I choose to enjoy every minute we have together until then.