Sleepless Nights

I did not read a whole lot about sleep training a baby when I was pregnant, but I did spend a lot of time praying that God would bless me with a child that loves to sleep. My prayers were inspired by the fact that I cannot function without sleep. I pretty much become Godzilla when I don't sleep well for a couple of nights in a row. 

The newborn days were hard because babies have no concept of time and want to nurse every 2 minutes 2 hours. I felt constantly tired and wondered if I was ever going to feel like a normal human being again. 

God heard my prayers and Sariah started sleeping through the night when she was 2 months old. I felt like a new person the morning I woke up and realized I had slept a whole night without any interruptions. 

I wish I could say that Sariah continued to be a great sleeper...but the reality tells a different story. 

This past summer, Sariah got a cold and then she got a couple of teeth and then she got Roseola and as a result, woke up multiple times a night. I let her nurse as much as she wanted because she felt comforted and safe. When she got all better, I expected her to go back to her old sleep patterns but it never happened. Sariah continued to wake up once a night to nurse and while I was slightly annoyed, I figured that getting up once a night for 10 minutes was not bad. 

Our little sleeper turned one year old three weeks ago and for some unknown reason, decided to start a new sleeping routine which includes hours of screaming in the middle of the night. Sariah goes down to sleep just fine and wakes up at 3:00AM screaming. I always let her nurse and put her back in her crib, but she continues to scream for the next 2.5 hours. John and I are SO tired! 

For 2.5 hours I sit in her room, encouraging her to lay down, assuring her that she is okay, telling her it is night-night time... while praying for supernatural patience and love. 

These last couple of weeks have been extremely challenging to me and I can truly say that my prayer life is very active. 

I keep hoping that tonight will be different and that this is just a stage, but sometimes when I am up for hours in the middle of the night, I start wondering if it is going to be like this forever. My logical self reminds me that Sariah will eventually sleep through the night again, but my emotional and tired self whispers that if this is the new normal, our child is never going to have a sibling because I can't handle having another child that will keep me up like this. 

I am being reminded almost constantly that I need to lean on God for strength. I am thankful that the Spirit reminds me that I can find rest in the arms of my Father.